if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
