listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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