I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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