im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
