He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
