I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
