he puts the penis in happiness.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
