I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
