I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
