Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I didn't notice because vodka
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
