Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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