nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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