WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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