Christians are straight up FREAKS
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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