We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
