Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
