Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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