Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
