We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
