btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
