R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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