Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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