If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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