I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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