i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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