I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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