allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
