? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
