Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
