im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
