You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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