Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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