Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
