I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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