Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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