i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
