Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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