Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
