Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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