so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Your topless pictures make me question reality
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
