i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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