Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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