why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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