Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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