had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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