Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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