i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i need some magic done to my vagina
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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