I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
