You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
