I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
