i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
